I couldn't believe it was positive still. Not only was it positive but two of my kids will likely be positive. More than likely and least one of them will be a girl. The hardest thing to do was realize I can't focus on the possibilities of my kids yet. I have to get through my journey first. I have to show my kids that they have choices when they are old enough.
The Surgery was scheduled for October 31, 2012. Leading up to the surgery I was truly blessed with a peaceful feeling. I felt so lucky to know before I was diagnosed with cancer. Leading up to the surgery date was another round of Doctor visits and tests. I met with my plastic surgeon. I love her. She is soft spoken but very very attentive and detail oriented. She took pictures of my breasts so she could create a plan of attack. After meeting with her I had a meeting with an ultrasound to get a visual on my ovaries. I also was scheduled for a breast MRI. Definitely a little uncomfortable but I was so so tired that I fell asleep during the MRI.
The surgery I was scheduled for was a Double Mastectomy with immediate reconstruction and I had my Fallopian tubes removed (they believe ovarian cancer starts out in the tubes). Thank fully I was done having children at 29. Everything was going along smoothly until a nurse called me on a Friday night to let me know that they found something on my MRI.
I was shocked, stunned, terrified. WHAT?!?! They said half the markers on the finding were cancerous flags and half were normal flags. Ok so what's next? All I could think was "Heavenly Father I will voluntarily give my boobs but please don't take my hair too." I can't tell you how many times I tried to negotiate with Him. I drove over to Seattle for the needle biopsy. I was told that I would have an ultrasound done with a radiologist and a needle guided biopsy after the initial ultrasound. I get in there and lay down and we started the ultrasound with normal chit chat. She looks and looks and then says I can't find where they said it was supposed to be. I then said well I had an ultrasound in July and they found a lymph node that had migrated into my breast. She said "Yes I see that but I don't see anything else". She let me to go get some body markers. She came back and said "I think you might be right I think it might be this lymph node." Then she proceeded to measure the lymph node and said she would be back. She came back and said she had placed the MRI over the ultrasound and it was indeed my lymph node. I started bawling. I couldn't believe it. I don't have cancer. I just have a lymph node.
I have never been happier for news. If she had been a cute man I might have kissed him I was so so so happy and so so so relieved.
Thank Heavens it was normal. I can now go on to the surgery with a peace of mind.
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