SURGERY

We had driven over to Seattle the night before my surgery. It honestly was a very calm and nice trip. It took me a while to fall asleep. My husband though was breathing deep and heavy in his sleep. I envied him luckily for me there is internet. I stayed awake doing more research about the surgery. Luckily though before I scared out of my mind I fell asleep. I woke up about 4:45am when the trash truck came. What was I going to do now?
Thankfully I have friends who are three hours ahead of me. So I started texting away. It was nice to chat with people who felt like home to me. I then painted my toes pink. I know that might not seem like much but to me it was acceptance. It was coming to terms with my new life. I was BRCA1 positive. I was about to become a previvor. I was about to join a sisterhood that I didn't ever think I would be a part of. As we got up and got ready to go to the hospital I read a card from one of my closest friends. Her words brought tears to my eyes. She loves me but more than that I felt like I was getting a pep talk. Game time!!!

I think one of the hardest things about going into such a big surgery is waiting. The waiting. Lots of waiting. Answer questions. WAIT. Start IV. WAIT. Get permanent marker tattoos by plastic surgeon. WAIT. See obgyn oncologist to sign papers. WAIT. Talk with a poor kid who obviously was just looking for a job to look good on his resume. He was asking me to donate tissue samples to a database. WAIT. Talk with Breast Surgeon. WAIT. Talk with head anesthesia  WAIT. Talk with the two ladies who will be my anesthesia. WAIT. Say goodbye to hubby and it is time to roll. The very last thing I remember is on the table and everyone crowding around the table verifying my name, my birth date and the surgery I was to have.

Waking up wasn't too bad. This wasn't my first surgery but non of the other ones compared to the amount of time I was intubated with this one. My mouth and throat hurt so bad more so than the elephant that happened to be dancing on my chest. Please let me have ice. The lady made me drink the yucky stuff to keep my stomach calm so I could have ice. She was being stingy with the ice. C'mon lady I can't swallow and breathe. So dry. Like desert dry. So dry my lips are sticking to my teeth. She kept getting on me about waking up. If I wanted ice I needed to wake up. OK I will try.
Something happened. I am not sure what but I remember that feeling in the air. Something happened to a patient. The nurses seemed different. They seemed sad. I later learned something did happened. We don't know what but Micah said the whole atmosphere was different.

We were transferred up to my room. Micah was allowed to stay on a cot thingy that was way too small for his stature. I slept pretty well. In the morning I was determined to get up out of bed. The nurses took the leg compression things off so I could sit at the edge of the bed. Whoa!! Is that my feet? I didn't have a baby why are they so fat. I asked micah to rub them. We need to get them unfat. While I was talking to the nurses one of them started laughing because I started out talking normal but would have to stop because my lips were sticking to my teeth again. They wanted me to go for a walk. They said just to the end of my room. Poor nurses had no idea how stubborn I am. I walked to the end of the room, out the door and around the little nurses pod basically one big square. Yeah! Felt so good to walk although a little lopsided. My Doctor came in to see me. She originally said two nights but took one look at me sitting at the edge of the bed and said "You can go home I don't usually see patients up sitting at the edge of the bed with color in their faces and talking to me with as late as you got out of surgery last night." Woot! Going home.
I got dressed. We got packed. Discharge papers and were on our way. I took some medicine before we left. I pretty much slept the whole way home (2 1/2 hours).  I remember waking up once. I just happened to wake up when we were passing an accident and a truck was on it's side. Yup that is all I remember about the drive. I remember thinking I did it. I took cancer and just gave it a whooping!